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The `Fair Deal'? Unpacking Accounts of Reciprocity in Heterosex

Virginia Braun

University of Auckland

Nicola Gavey

University of Auckland

Kathryn McPhillips

Auckland Sexual Abuse HELP Foundation

Reciprocity is a basic premise of egalitarian relationships, and is typically depicted as a `good thing' within heterosexual sex and relationships. Here we examine a discourse of reciprocity - articulated as orgasm for both partners - evident in accounts of heterosex collected from 15 heterosexual women and 15 men. We argue that notions of reciprocity are not necessarily as liberatory as they might seem, as they do not occur in a social or sexual vacuum. In conjunction with other dominant sexual meanings, a discourse of reciprocity produces entitlements and obligations that can render `choice' in heterosex problematic, particularly for women.

Key Words: coital imperative • discourse • heterosex • orgasm • reciprocity

Sexualities, Vol. 6, No. 2, 237-261 (2003)
DOI: 10.1177/1363460703006002005


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